This short writing is a personal reflection on the person of Mary, looking in the gospel for an answer to the question: What was Mary like? What does the Gospel really tell me about Mary? Extracting from the gospels all the quotes that speak of Mary, I have learned a lot about her; I could even draw up a “profile” with her personal characteristics. But, just as it happened to Mary, as I will explain below, looking for the answer to this question, I have found something I was not looking for. I have realized that Mary is not a static, immutable character, but she evolves and changes as a mother and as a woman.
There is a key that connects the occasions in which Mary searches for her son every time she loses him. In this loss-search lies the change in Mary. Each time this happens (on three occasions), it’s a blow for Mary that makes her reflect, meditate, and change, in such a way that in the end she is able to find Jesus. Let's see.
Mary's first “lost - seek - find”
Lk 2:41-46: As a teenager, Jesus decides to stay in the Temple to listen to and talk with the doctors of the law, instead of returning to his parents. They were already on their way home and realize that they lost him, so they return to the temple. When they find him, Mary, like a good mother, rebukes Jesus who was already giving some clues.
She loses Jesus as a child, dependent on his parents, and finds him as an adolescent with an air of independence. She stops being a protective mother and becomes a mother who must exercise her authority (Lk 2:50-51b) so that the adolescent does not get lost again.
Mary's second “lost - seek - find”
Mk 3:31-32 (Mt 12:46-50; Lk 8:19-21): Mary and Jesus' brothers and sisters are looking for him and find him preaching to the crowd. And what do they find? A Jesus who loves them more for being his sheep than for being family. Once again, Mary was looking for her son, and she finds a shepherd. She goes from being a mother to being a disciple. She loses Jesus the son, and finds Jesus the teacher. From this moment on, the evangelists no longer refer to her as his mother.
Third “loss - search - find” of Mary
Jn 19,25-27: “Then Jesus, seeing his mother, and his beloved disciple standing next to her, said to his mother: “Woman, look at your son.” Then he said to the disciple: “Look at your mother.” Mary loses the shepherd and finds herself a seed of the Kingdom of God. Jesus charges both of them (the disciple and the woman) to continue the announcement of the Kingdom, welcoming each other. The fraternal love that has been created among Jesus' followers knows no kinship or blood. The Kingdom of God is built with the love that Jesus has given us, which is to care for and serve one another.
The angel Gabriel appears to Mary to tell her that she will conceive a son by the power of the Holy Spirit. On the cross, this angel is Jesus himself, who tells her that she must continue forward in building the Kingdom of God.
These three instances of Mary losing- searching- finding, reflect not only a process of Mary’s self-understanding and that of her son, but also a process that we may encounter in our own lives, a process of discovery and re-discovery about who we are, what our mission is, and how our relationships and our understanding of others keep changing our lives.
